Many people feel that they should not be assertive at the work place. More often than not, it is women who has a man for a boss, that feels like they should do whatever the boss says and often compromise themselves in the process. It is okay to express how you feel and you should. Here are assertiveness techniques that you can try to make you feel more assertive.

It’s Ok To Say No!

A workable compromise should be the first thing that you do. If someone asks you to do something and you can’t, you should let them know that your not comfortable doing it, and work out something that is feasible. For example if someone as you to work an extra shift and you have to pick the kids up from the babysitter a few hours after work. You say “I can’t work the entire shift, but I can work a few hours until you can get someone else to come in” This way you are helping solve the problem.

The 4 Step Approach

First you state the facts. Let people know what is going on do not expect them to mind read.
Step 2 state how you feel. Tell someone when what they have said or done makes you mad.
Step 3 come up with an outcome what would you like to see happen.
Step 4 Ask for feedback. You could present a solution to a problem and say “what do you think?”

Be Heard

Make sure that people hear you. If you have to sound like a broken record until you get what you want. Tell the person what you want and if they put you off tell them again. Keep telling them until they give you what you are asking for.

If you have ever been in a thick fog then you have seen the way it seems to swallow up everything. When it comes to negative remarks you should act like a big fog bank. Accept the one true part and let the rest just go into your fog bank. If someone says “You are always late you will never amount to anything” you should say “Yes you are right I have been late a few times.” Let the rest of the remark go into your fog bank.

You Are Not A Door Mat!

No one should be walked all over like a mat that you wipe your feet on. You are a person and what you say matters. Everyone is equal and should be treated as equals. The next time you have a boss, a co-worker, or even a spouse that are trying to treat you like your opinion don’t count try some of these assertiveness techniques and they will soon begin to look at you in a different light.

The work place is most likely where you are getting more stress. By learning to assert yourself and not just taking it all in and letting the anger build up you are going to see the stress levels change. If you let the anger build up for a long time there will be an explosion and you may end up getting fired because of it. Let them know you are not going to be walked all over and ignored.